The Stresses of a New Place

As you all know, we've recently moved. It has been almost a month, we are slowly furnishing our new apartment. Moving to a new place can be fun, and it is; it's like Christmas for adults- except you get to unwrap crap you already own- so there really isn't much of a surprise factor. In the midst of all of this fun, moving can also be stressful- especially if you're moving in with someone else for the first time.

There are many stress factors to moving, some include: finances, finding a moving company (or friends who are willing to help for free pizza and beer), to making a list of items that you will be taking with you to the new place and items that you will leave behind or sell, and finding a place for everything. IF you're in the same boat as I am, you also have to consider the other person that will be living with you. The best advice that I can give anyone when moving in with your significant other is something that should be obvious, but can be easily overlooked: communicate. Make a plan, write it down if you have to, just as long as you are BOTH on the same page.

What should be part of your plan? Where should you start? I like starting with finances. Write out a budget, so that you have a visual of how much you both make, and how much you are both spending. We did ours on the same spreadsheet, but did our individual expenses, this way we could see where the money we make is going. From there, you can discuss what each of you can contribute. I will be honest, he makes more than I do, but he has also been at his job a lot longer and he is in a manager position. So, we agreed that he would take care of the rent, I would take care of the utilities and groceries. Before you get up in arms, it has nothing to do with gender roles, but rather what we can afford without living above our means. Plus, I'm the cook in the relationship, so it made sense for me to buy the things we need so that I can feed us and keep a clean and organized home.

Once that plan was in place, we moved onto what we were missing in our home that neither one of us already owned. In case you missed it, this included couches and a dinning room set (Which, I am proud to say, we now have both!). How did we agree on what we wanted? I know that he likes traditional rustic designs, I like modern lines and classic decor. So we hit up IKEA and WAYFAIR, and some other furniture sites. After some back and forth, and again looking back at our budget, we narrowed it down to what we liked. Eventually settling on sets that brought both of our aesthetics together. I picked out the table, he picked out the couches. It actually worked out, and yes we consulted each other to make sure that we could both live with each other's choice before we purchased them.

So finances are figured out, items that your missing are set, what's next? Oh right, the stuff that you are keeping and everything else. If you have two of the same BIG thing, (for example, two dressers, two beds..etc) get rid of one. If you don't have the space for two dressers, pick the one that will accommodate both of your belongings and sell the other one. If you have the space, then one can go in the spare bedroom. If it doesn't go with your new decor, paint it. If you hate it all together, and both of you are fine getting rid of it- then sell it, or donate. We didn't hire movers, we've also been super busy with our work schedules, so progress has been slow to get all of our stuff over to the new place. Once things settle down, we will be renting a UHAUL and getting it all at once.

It's been a little over a month, and I think we are doing pretty well so far. It doesn't have to be difficult or complicated. If you're moving out on your own, that is great- congratulations! Same advice applies. Make a budget, make a list of what you're keeping and what you can part with, and take into consideration what you might have to spend money on that you might not already own- like appliances, dishes, or furniture. If you're moving in with a roommate after you have already found a place and moved in- make sure that you set boundaries. Make a chore chart if you have to, make sure that you are both on the same page when it comes to sharing responsibilities from the very beginning so that you avoid conflict. Trade off chores so that it is fair for everyone and no one gets stuck doing something that they hate- like cleaning the bathroom. You don't need to share your budget with them, but make sure that you communicate what you can take on, so that neither of you feel like you're stuck with the bulk of the bills. Life isn't complicated, keep it simple.